More than half my lifetime ago,
probably during my childhood or teens, an adult - a woman - told me to always
remember the “sparkle in my eyes”. A few months ago, this forgotten and archived
memory suddenly resurfaced as a dream on one random weekday night.
In my dream, the woman passed
me a mirror to look at my reflection. Then she asked me to close my eyes and
think of something I liked, seeing someone I loved, or my favourite food. And
as I was visualising and smiling, she asked me to open my eyes and look at my
reflection.
My reflection was me, but yet
it was different. There was a happy smile, hopeful expression, and a twinkle or
sparkle in my eyes. She said: “Remember this sparkle in your eyes and don’t
allow anything in life to extinguish it.”
She went on saying: “As you
grow older, you will have more responsibilities, encounter negative situations,
and face realities in life. These situations will dimmer the spark bit by bit,
and one day, extinguish it before you even take notice.”
The younger Doris asked in my
dream: “Then what should I do to keep this spark in eyes?”
The woman said: “Do the things
you love, be a true friend to others, and try new things that makes you feel
excited and scared at the same time.” And then, this segment of the dream
ended, or at least that’s where my memory of the dream ended.
I cannot remember when this
happened or who the woman was, but I am quite sure she was neither my mom nor
my aunts. Maybe, it could have been my maternal great-grandma, as I remember
her eyes were sparkling with life till she passed on in her sleep, 20 years
ago, when she was in her mid-90s.
A few years ago, I heard about
Burt Goldman, an American Monk, who claimed he can quantum jump to alternate
universes through meditation. Perhaps, the woman in this dream, and what I
recollected from my childhood, could have been Doris from the future?
After I woke up, this dream
jolted another memory: “Don’t choose to do, or want, something your parents
never had the chance to do, or own. Nor pursue it just because others had it,
and you want it too. Choose it because that is something you really want to do,
or have, even if no one else had or done it. You will know that is truly what
you want because when you do, or have that, it feels right to you, even if no
one else agrees.”
We can see others when their
eyes sparkle, especially when they are talking about someone or something they
love. But rarely, we can observe that sparkle in our own eyes, because our eyes
are probably not all that sparkly when we are in the bathroom checking our
reflection.
Ever since this strange dream,
I have been reflecting on the existential, and somewhat philosophical, question
“Is this it to life?”
These days, I intentionally
observed the eyes of friends and strangers, adult and child, hoping to catch
the spark when it occurs. This spark happens most often in babies who are
fascinated with everything in life. It happens often in children who have hope
for their future, but rarely in children/teens who have somewhat given up hope
in their life. It occurs sporadically in adults, when they are sharing about the people they love and the things they enjoy doing, but rarely seen in office or work
setting.
Perhaps, too many sci-fi
movies, fantasy dramas and fictional stories are messing with my
neuro-connections. Realistically, all I need is probably a break, or holiday,
from the normalcy of life and responsibilities of an adult.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3
<3 <3
Everyone has different ways to
regain the sparkle in their eyes. Personally, I blast the following songs, sing
and dance in my room like how I did when I was a teenager. Life feels brighter,
stress feels lighter and future always become more hopeful after 1-2 hours.
I wanna try everything, I wanna
try even though I could fail.
Yesterday my life was duller,
now everything’s technicolour.
If you can dream, the wish
we’re making, on a star is coming true.
Somehow I cannot hide, who I
am, though I’ve tried.
Let It Go from Frozen
Let It Go in Chinese/Mandarin (随它吧)
It’s time to see what I can do, to test the limits and break through.
我生命的选择, 别再找我, 过去已经离开我.
Let It Go in Chinese/Mandarin (随它吧)
It’s time to see what I can do, to test the limits and break through.
我生命的选择, 别再找我, 过去已经离开我.
See the line where the sky
meets the sea? It calls me.
A whole new world, a hundred
thousand things to see.
Beauty and the Beast
Beauty and the Beast in Chinese/Mandarin (美女與野獸)
Finding you can change, learning you were wrong.
眼神能见证不是一场梦.
Beauty and the Beast in Chinese/Mandarin (美女與野獸)
Finding you can change, learning you were wrong.
眼神能见证不是一场梦.
Such wonderful things surround
you, what more is you lookin’ for?
I’m where I meant to be.
Life is road, now and forever,
wonderful journey.
Sometimes you reach what’s real
just by making believe.
禮物不需挑最貴, 只要香榭的落葉.
禮物不需挑最貴, 只要香榭的落葉.
Hope these songs make you feel
better too. :)
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